Thursday, September 10, 2009

Artist Myth Six 1a: You will get "discovered."

From the time PBS gave me the green light to film my production to the actual airing of the special was nearly three and a half years. The project itself included about five separate Action Plans. It seemed there was a new goal related to the project around every turn. 
During that time there were a lot of ups and downs related to that particular project. In addition, I also had many other projects going on. Mounting my PBS fundraising efforts alone took a huge amount of emotional and social energy. In addition, I had massive expectations that I carried around in my head the whole time about what the opportunity might mean for my career. 

When I reached my fundraising goal, you would have thought I would have felt elated. Instead, I felt incredibly empty and lost. Had I not experienced the feeling before, the very first time I went on a cross country tour and had a similar experience, I would have been convinced I had been struck with clinical depression. Other performers and artists I’ve talked to have experienced the same thing.  And how can we not, considering what a huge emotional swing it is to go from performing in front of a huge crowd one day to being alone in your apartment the next. Moving toward a goal and achieving it can often have the same effect, so it helps to plan for it.

1 comment:

  1. I feel a similar letdown or sadness after an industrious day in my studio. So much positive energy, I experience "flow", I have a tangible "product" to show for my time, yet I feel sadness.

    Perhaps it is fatigue? or the arrow pulling back before it can go forward again?